When parents are getting divorced, it’s important for them to know how to talk to their children. There are certain steps they can take to help this conversation go smoothly, which can assist with the transition. It often makes the divorce process much easier for the children moving forward.
We have previously discussed how it is important to reassure children that divorce is not their fault. That’s an important part of the conversation, and it may be an ongoing effort. But why is it that children think this in the first place?
Negative ramifications
There are two main reasons for this, the first of which is that negative ramifications in children’s lives often result from things that they do. Perhaps they get in trouble for the way that they act or the way that they talk to their parents. They’re trying to figure out how to navigate the world, and they quickly realize that they are causing these negative events.
Unfortunately, children may extrapolate that mindset to a divorce. If they view the divorce as a negative event, they may not know what they did to cause it, but they think there must have been something.
Magical thinking
Another potential reason is known as magical thinking. This is most common in younger children. They have a belief that their own thoughts and desires can influence the world to a much greater degree than they do.
For instance, a child may have been angry with their parents and told them that they didn’t want to live together anymore. As the parents get divorced and live in separate homes, the child assumes that they must have caused this change.
In either case, it’s important for divorcing parents to know how they can put their children first as they work their way through the legal process.